Line of Fire
by spacegypsy1
Summary: Following Unending. Daniel contemplates the possibility that he loves Vala. Hurt/Comfort. Romance. Daniel's point of View.


Teal'c just left my office.

I'm staring at the blank screen of my new laptop, which I have yet to turn on. My mind, the one that up to this point had very little activity that is unrelated to my work, is pondering the absurd.

That being a sudden and inexplicable desire to kiss Vala. And more. It has weighed on my mind now for six days. The total amount of time since we returned from some strange and unexplainable little Sam glitch on the Odyssey and some sort of a time switcheroo. None of us, with the exception of Teal'c, know what happened. Not even Sam herself. The Jaffa has been quite tight lipped about what occurred. Some fifty or sixty years hanging out in the time dilation field. I try not to even think about it. Fifty or sixty years hanging out with Vala. Which to my amazement doesn't sound that bad.

And, of course, this sudden desire concerning Vala bloomed larger in my head-filling thoughts when Teal'c walked in, came directly in front of my desk and asked, "Why do you ignore your feelings for Vala Mal Doran?"

One might think that I would have played dumb about that whole thing, instead, my recently activated internal conflicted self looked him right in the eye and said... "because my first love, Sha're was, as you know, killed by a staff weapon along with Amaunet right before my very eyes, my next attempt at falling in love, Janet Fraiser, was killed by a staff weapon on a mission... right before my very eyes. And I'm done with loving someone who is in the line of fire. I've done my penance, I've cried myself to sleep like a baby many times, I've carried grief for so long I feel like my heart is brick. I won't go through that kind of loss again. Ever. No matter what."

"Ah," Teal'c said, "The Ori army uses staff weapons. I can see your conundrum."

And out he wandered at a slow but steady pace leaving me to argue with myself that I really hadn't convinced myself that I'm done and, as stated, I once again began to ponder the absurd. Vala's mouth that beckons me. The fact that often I wake up at night having dreamed of her naked, coming into my room, vulnerable, frightened and asking to sleep with me wanting me to chase her monsters away. Just sleep she says. That actually happened the other night, although she wasn't naked. In fact, she had on ordinary pajamas. I let her crawl in my bed. On top of my covers. Covered herself with her own blanket she always carries in like a toddler. Plopped her head down on her own pillow also carried in. She went right to sleep. I however remained awake the entire night. Can somebody just shoot me?

~0i0~

As usual and as annoying as ever, Vala sits next to me at the conference table. Legs drawn up and arms around her legs, and somehow she manages to make the chair swivel back and forth. Now I realize that not everyone or maybe no one but myself can perceive the swivel being that it is slight, but it is distracting and I want to turn and clamp my hand on the arm of the chair to stop it. I can't. I can't do that. If I even look her way I will be inundated with an avalanche of pure lust. That has been going on now for 6 days. It getting worse by the day.

I have no idea what Mitchell is discussing because I'm thinking. Thinking about last night at dinner. How Vala could not stop badgering Teal'c about who she hooked up with. Teasing Mitchell and Teal'c. Laughing about General Landry. Winking at Sam. Not once, not one damn time, does she ever mention my name! Not once!

Why do I care? I don't.

I would have thought that I'd be her number one choice. I mean, really, I would have most likely not wanted to hook up being as I have enough reasons why not that I could win the best of arguments with her on that subject. Why then does it bother me? I mean thinking now, though I have no idea if I thought then which I couldn't have because I wasn't really there, now I can see that it could work okay. Really. In that instance, that time slowed field it could have worked. That is once I realized Sam couldn't fix it and I was stuck there until that destructive beam aimed at us for years and years will eventually hit us. So, if we blow up we all die and I don't have to worry about losing her and living that hell once again.

And... I realize that maybe it **was** me she hooked up with. I'm the one she's crazy about.

I look over at her grinning at something Mitchell said. Now Mitchell is grinning at her. Oh. Damn. It might have been Mitchell! Or Teal'c, for god's sake! Why the hell does that bother me? She'd slice me up and toss me aside. Hell, she would have hooked up with all of us, including Sam!

Now I feel terrible thinking something like that. I look around the table. Then stare unseeing letting my thoughts settle down knowing it's not true. She's built up that barrier, that act of seductress. She wears it like armor to protect herself. I know her too well now. The pain she hides behind that armor.

Turning I look at her and find staring at me. Not the way she was grinning at Mitchell. No. This is different. Her grey eyes are misty and soft. Her smile real and meant only for me. I want to wrap my hand around the back of her neck and slowly draw her closer and kiss her.

I stood suddenly, surprising everyone, including myself as I stumbled back, almost tangling with my chair as I attempted, unsuccessfully, to explain. "Ah... er... I, ahm, I have... I'll be right back!"

~0i0~ Off to P3K-546

Speaking of the 'line of fire'we are pinned down just a few feet from the Stargate. I'm deeper in behind a huge boulder, Mitchell is nearby bitching about the weapon burn to his shoulder as he intermittently pops up from behind a fallen tree and sprays bullets in the general direction of our assailants. Teal'c is blasting his P-90 making his way toward the enemy line as if he is bulletproof, which I often wonder if he is.

"Vala!" I yelled. No Response. I didn't see what direction she took.

Mitchell calls her name, "Vala! Then Teal'c, "Vala Mal Doran!"

Finally, finally, she yells. "They're retreating!" And she steps out from the forest and right before my very eyes I see the staff weapon behind her, pointed, spitting fire, and I ran. I ran like never before. I dove into her, shoving her aside. I felt the searing charge rip through me. I saw her shock. I heard her scream. "No! No, Daniel!"

~0i0~

The pain is unrelenting so probably not dead. Probably.

I tried to speak, but nothing would come out. I did manage a groan. I hurt so much I think I could cry. I know I could cry. My eyelids would not budge. Remaining heavy and closed – not a teardrop available. My throat ached. The remainder of my body was on fire. There was so much pain I couldn't tell you where I was hit even if my life depended on it... which it might.

At last, I felt a cool hand on my forehead. A cold damp rag on my lips. Heard murmuring but was not able to discern words.

Suddenly the pain overwhelmed me. I wanted to scream but couldn't. I could only moan. Gods, I hurt.

"Shh," I heard whispered near my ear. I felt the prick of a pin, a sting and knew someone was giving me something for pain. It settled on me like a thin blanket that might fall away at the simplest movement. I tried to relax. Let the pain medicine do its job. Fear gripped tight around my throat. I think I'm dying. And although it's better than dealing with pain if I die I won't be able to explore the possibility of a relationship with Vala. Crazy as that is, that's what I'm thinking. My thoughts, my life, all of it makes no sense, not a goddamn bit of sense.

Someone is dialing the Stargate. Someone is ripping open my shirt. Someone is yelling. The sound of chaos escalates.

I couldn't distinguish voices, couldn't tell who was with me. Friend or foe? Wait. There it is. That warmed whiskey seductress voice that could turn on a dying man. As I can attest to. She's begging me to live. She's pleading with me to stay with her. She's asking for always and forever. She's apologizing for not being good enough for me. She's asking for my love, anyway. She's dropping hot tears on my skin as her head lays down on my chest. She's listening for a heartbeat. I... I'm not sure its there.

I want to live. I want to live for her. I want to live with her. No, I don't. That's crazy. I must be dying.

"Vala." I force out that one sweet word. "Vala." Again, but so softly I'm not sure I actually said it out loud, and then with the agonizing intake of possibly my last breath, darkness caved in on me.

~0i0~ Home

So, not dead. I know where I am because of that damned penlight shining in my eye announcing I'm alive.

"Ah," Dr. Lam says, "you're awake." Her tone is that of someone no longer astonished by the illogical.

"Dying." I managed to explain, my voice sounding like I swallowed sandpaper.

Blurry though she was, I could tell the good doctor was injecting something into my IV line. "You're going to be fine, Daniel."

As many times as I've died I know what it's like. It's like this. And though my eyelids were mere slits I noticed the doc glance across at someone with that look. We all know that look. She wasn't so sure I was going to be fine.

Feeling fingers combing softly through my hair I shifted my burning, aching eyes to the wavering figure I think was Vala. She leaned close and whispered, "I love you, I don't care what you feel about me and I hate you for jumping into the line of fire. I don't want to be the one left behind so you better get well darling or else I'm going to kill you myself."

I agreed to her proposal, though her statement was nonsensical. "Okay," I attempted to say but not a sound came out of my mouth. That important acknowledgment just sat there on my bone-dry tongue, useless. As did the overwhelming need to say I love you, too.

~0i0~ Recovery

I started to heal with the help of Vala and that Goa'uld healing device, Dr. Lam's expertise, and my own need to get over this and figure out my life – since apparently I still have one. Knowing I have to get back to finding the Ark I follow all instructions and according to Carolyn Lam I am the model patient. I'm getting out of the infirmary tomorrow, and after a week or so of more physical therapy, I will be out with the team on our mission to Dakara in search of the Ark.

Vala though... she's still pissed off at me. Her smiles are not genuine, her laughter fake and her ministrations of tidying up my bed are meant to be painful. __Oh sorry, darling__ , she says sweetly as her eyes shoot out laser beams of death rays. I'm the only one who sees that. Often I catch her glaring at me. I act like I don't know why. You know, I scrunch my brows, shrug my shoulders, open my hands in the basic 'what?' gesture.

~0i0~ Third night in my own bed

I'm frustrated and really don't know how to make her understand. I didn't even think before I leapt. Really.

I can't sleep. The lamp is on and a very enticing book lays under the light. Can't read. My mind (and admittedly my body) is thinking of Vala and all things erotic.

I hear a light tapping on my door and I rush to open it. She stands there without blanket or pillow. Without the usual look of horror from some nightmare. She is Bherunda Nitya the Goddess of Vulnerability.

"Daniel." she says softly, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I just... I wanted... I was so afra...

I snatched her into my room, shut and bolted the door. Yanking her into my embrace I cup her lovely bum and hike her up to fit snuggly against my groin. That way she will know there is no doubt that I want her. And I want her now.

Mumbling words I have no idea why, I state, "I don't think this is exactly what the doctor had in mind when she insisted on physical therapy, but I think it will work just fine."

"Darling, I want to..."

My gaze is on her mouth. I hover there, whispering, "Vala, shut up and kiss me."

Her lips parted, opening to take a surprised breath, but I stole the moment and kissed her instead. Intending to keep it tender didn't work at all. I ended up with a greater passion than I have ever known. There is something to be said about kissing someone you love versus someone you lust after. The kiss is more than a kiss. In a heartbeat, I know. I know that I love her madly and lust after her intensely. I no longer worry about the future or losing her. I love her now. And now is all there is. Ever. Only now.

There is tenderness in her response but also a wildness that has me pressing her to the door.

"Darling," she manages to say, "bed. The bed."

"Yeah, it's a nice bed. You know, comfortable beds were invented in1860 something." I stopped her next question with another epic kiss.

She breaks free, leans back. Sets her feet on the floor. Feels my forehead. Studies my face a moment and asks, "Are you drunk?"

"Mmm, okay. No. Yes. Yes, I am. I'm drunk on love. The happily ever after kind of I love you, love. I love you." I tried to pull her back into my embrace but she was doing that sexy little growl and taking her pajamas off.

"Take off your clothes and come to bed, Daniel. We have to report an excellent session of physical therapy." She stands at the foot of my bed, naked. Sultry and inviting.

Oh yeah, I'm right in her line of fire. And I surrender. Take the hit. Remove my tee shirt and skivvies. Then I playfully shove her onto the bed. Laughing, I crawl over her.

"I love you." She moans, wrapping her legs around my back.

"I know."

~end~


End file.
